“Okay, try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous Period. You get your first look at this “Jurassic Kitten” as you enter a clearing.

He moves like a bird, lightly, bobbing his head.

And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like T. rex: he’ll lose you if you don’t move.

But no, not [Jurassic Kitten]. You stare at him, and he just stares right back.

And that’s when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side, from the other two [kittens] you didn’t even know were there.

Because [Jurassic Kitten’s] a pack hunter, you see, he uses coordinated attack patterns and he is out in force today.

 

And he slashes at you with this: a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the the middle toe.

He doesn’t bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say… no, no. He slashes at you here, or here… or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is, you are alive when they start to eat you.”

Are you brave enough to handle a wild beast like Robert Muldoon (above) or Alan Grant (below)? These two brothers are available for adoption now.

*Note: no Franklin-dogs or velociraptor-kittens were harmed in the making of this photographic tale. Always supervise meetings among new pets, be aware of everyone’s comfort, and make sure that wimpy dogs have room to scuttle away from unwelcome advances.*